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Urge Surfing
i just thought i'd share an exercise that my eating disorder group taught me. its called "urge surfing" and its from
dialectical behavior therapy. i'll just type up what it says on the paper i have on it. i don't understand it perfectly, but
when i've used it, it does help. here it is: "urge surfing involves mindful observing of urges to binge eat or other maladaptive
eating behaviors. urge surfing involves stepping back from your experience and using mindfulness skills, including non-judgemental
observing and describing of urges, craving, and food pre-occupation. urge surfing involves awareness withou mindlessly giving
in to the urge. urge surfing just notices without judgeing the urge, without pushing it away or holding onto it. one simply
notices and describes, moment to moment, and ebb the flow of the urge without reacting to it." exercise instructions: "in
the space below, describe your practice of urge surfing. be very detailed. describe your moment to moment observations. describe
the ebb and flow of your thoughts, feelings, sensations, urges." and then there's a spot to write it out. you could do it
on binder paper or whatever. i hope this is helpful. if not, well, i got some typing practice in! lol. oh, and it can be used
for any urge, such as the urge to SI, urge to drink, urge to restrict, urge to do whatever. and its helped me.
States of Mind
Wise Mind, Emotional Mind, and Reasonable (unreasonable) Mind
Wise Mind is intuitive, calm, peaceful and sure. Wise Mind is an integration of all ways of knowing:
by observing, feeling, analyzing, intuition, etc. In Wise Mind, there is a sense of knowing, of understanding, of experiencing
truth. It is knowing something in a very centered way. Wise Mind is an experience that comes from deep within, not from a
current emotional state. Wise Mind is when your best friend, your wise self, guides you. In wise mind, your true self and
value, your own internal wisdom guides you.
Emotional Mind is when your emotions are in control. Your thinking and actions are controlled by your
curretn emotional state. Thinking is "hot", rather than "cool" and rational. Behavior is reactive and lightening fast, rather
than measured with the consequences considered.
Reasonable (unreasonable) Mind is when rational thinking and logic are in control of what your do. In
reasonable mind, thinking and reactions are "cool" and situations are approached in a measured, non-reactive way.
Mindfulness: Taking Hold of Your "What" Skills
Observe
Just notice the experience. Notice without getting caught in the experience. Have a "teflon mind". Just let experiences,
feelings, and thoughts come into your mind and slip right out. Control your attention, but not what you see. Push nothing
away. Cling to nothing. Be like a guard at the palace gate. Altert to every thought, feeling, and action that comes thorugh
the gate of your mind. Step inside yourslef and observe. Watch your thoughts coming and going, like clouds in the sky. Notice
each feelings, rising and falling, like waves in the ocean. Notice exactly what you are doing. Notice what comes through your
senses - your eyes, ears, nose, skin, tongue. See others' actions and expressions just as they are with no interpretation.
Describe
Put words on the experience. When a feeling or thought arises, or you do something, acknowledge it. For example, say
in your mind, "sadness has just enveloped me" or "stomach muscles tightening" or "a thought 'i can't do this' has come into
my mind" or "walking, step, step, step". Put experiences into words. Describe to yourslef what is happening. Put a name on
your feelings. Call a thought just a thought. a feeling just a feeling. don't get caught in the content.
Participate
Enter into your experiences. Let yourself get involved in the moment. Let go of ruminating. Become one wiht your experience.
completely forget yourself. Act intuitively from wise mind. Do just what is needed in each situation - a skillful dancer on
the dance floor, one wiht the music and your partner, neither willful or passive. Actively practice your skill as you
learn them until they become part of you, where you use them without self consciousness. practice changing harmful situations,
changing your harmful reactions to situations, accepting yourslef and the situation as they are.
Mindfulness: Taking Hold of Your Mind: "How" Skills
Non-Judgmentally
see but don't evaluate. take a non-judgmental stance. just the facts. focus on the "what" not the "good" or "bad", the
"terrible" or "wonderful", the "should" or "should not". Unglue your opinions from the facts, from the "who, what, when,
and where". Accept each moment. Experience each event as a blanket spread out on the lawn accepts the rain, the sun, and each
leaf that falls upon it. Acknowlege the helpful, the wholesome, but don't judge it. Acknowledge the harmful, the unwholesome,
but don't judge it. when you find yourslef judging, don't judge your judging.
One-Mindfully
do one thing at a time. when you re eating, eat, when you are walking, walk, when you are bathing, bathe. when you are
working, work, when you are in a group or a conversation, focus your attention on the very moment you are in with the other
person. when you are thinking, think, when you are worrying, worry. when you are planning, plan, when you are remembering,
remember. do each thing with all of your attention. if other actions, or other thoughts, or strong feelings distract you,
let go of distractions and go back to what you are doing - again and again and again. concentrate your mind. if you
find you are doing two things at once, stop and go back to one thing at a time.
Effectively
focus on what works. do what needs to be done in each situation. stay away from "fari" and "unfair", "right" and "wrong",
"should" and "should not". use common sense. don't "cut off your nose to spite your face". Act as skillfully as you can, meeting
the needs of the situation you are in....now the situation that you wish you were in, noth the one that is "just", not the
one that is more comfortable, not the one that "should be", not the one that.... keep an eye on your objectives
in the situation and do what is necessary to acheive them. let go of vengeance, useless anger, and righteousness that hurts
you and doesn't work.
Basic Principles of Aceepting Reality
Radical Acceptance
freedom from suffering requires acceptance from deep within of what is. let yourself go completely with what is. let
go of fighting reality.
pain creates suffering only when you refuse to accept th epain. deciding to tolerate the moment is acceptance. acceptance
is acknowledging what is. to accept something is not the same as judging it good.
Turning the Mind
acceptance of reality as it is requires an act of choice. it is like coming to a fork in the road. you have to turn your
mind towards the acceptance road and away from the "rejecting reality" road. you have to make an inner commitment to
accept. the commitment to accept does not itself equal acceptance. it just turns you toward the path. but it is the first
step. you have to turn your mind and commit to acceptance over and over and over again. sometimes you have to make the
commitment many times in the space of a few minutes.
Willingness: Cultivate a willing response to each situation
willingness is doing just what is needed in each situation, in an unpretentious way. it is focusing on effectiveness.
willingness is listening very carefully to your wise mind, acting from your inner slef. willingness is allowing into awareness
your connection to the universe, to the earth, to the floor you are standing on, to the chair you are sitting on, to the person
you are talking to.
(over) willfulness
Replace willfulness with willingness
willfulness is sitting on your hands when action is needed, refusing to make changes that are needed. willfulness
is giving up. willfulness is the opposite of doing what works, being effective. willfulness is trying to fix every situation.
willfulness is refusing to tolerate the moment.
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here's a list of 'things to do instead
of binging'
Postpone the binge for 15 minutes. set your timer. that should give you enough time to choose another
strategy.
brush your teeth; take a shower or bath
soak binge food in water
leave the environment thats
tempting you to binge. go to a park, library, or other 'safe' place.
call a supportive friend either just to talk
or to address your problem. cultivate more friends who are sensitive, compassionate, and capable of uplifiting you.
in
panic situations, relax with deep breathing. take a deep breath for the count of ten, hold it for that long, exhale. repeat
this a few times, then think through your anxiety.
get your mind on something else. chew gum. turn on the radio or
TV. distract yourself from the cravings long enough to settle down.
let out your emotions in an aggressive way. punch
a boxing bag or scream into a pillow. wrestle with a safe support person. beat your bed with a tennis racket or baseball bat.
loud crying can be a great release.
take part in physical activity. go for a walk, job, swim, or bike ride. hit golf
balls or play tennis.
stop yourself and identify the real hunger. where is it coming from? throat? stomach? heart?
write down spontaneous answers. these identify the source of your legitimate wants and needs.
write in your journal
or tape record thoughts. be intimate and honest. look back at earlier entries to discover patterns and see progress. address
questions like, "what's the payoff to this binge?"
from "Bulimia: A Guide to Recovery"
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Checklist of Cognitive Distortions: find things you say to yourself (statements) and
see which ones of the following distortions you use. then challenge the statement with a more positive, less distorted statement.
All-or-nothing thinking: you look at things in absolute, black-and-white
categories.
Over generalization: you view a negative even as a never-ending pattern
of defeat.
Mental filter: you dwell on the negatives.
Discounting the positives: you insist that your accomplishments or positive
qualities don't count.
Jumping to conclusions:
a. mind reading: you assume that people are reacting negatively to you
when there's no defite evidence
b. fortune-telling: you arbitrarily predict that things will turn out
badly.
Magnification or minimization: you blow things way out of proportion
or your shrink their importance.
Emotional reasoning: you reason from how you feel: "I feel like an idiot,
so I really must be one".
"Should Statements": you criticize yourself (or other people) with "shoulds",
"oughts", "musts", and "have tos".
Labeling: instead of saying "I made a mistake", you tell yourself, "I'm
a jerk", or "a fool", or "a loser".
Personalization and blame: you blame yourself for something you weren't
entirely responsible for, or you blame other people and deny your role in the problem. |
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